How to Get the Behavior in child as You Want?
One of the nightmares of parenting – Your child is adamant, arrogant at public place. Will you punish or reward to get your child to behave?Being a parent means confronting behavioral challenges from your children every day. Sometime to deal with the situation is a problem. We have tried to simplify with list of questionnaire.
Should parents try harder to catch their children doing the right thing – rewarding good behavior, rather than punishing bad?
– Rewarding good behavior so that you get better behavior.
Opinion: Although we stress a positive approach and reward, I’m not against punishment. I just feel that if we discipline a child 10 times a day, the majority of the consequences should be positive. For instance, if you’re going to the store where your child frequently acts up tell him or her, “Every time I have to correct your behavior, I’m giving you a warning. If you get three or fewer warnings, we’ll go out for lunch. If you get more than three, we won’t.”
Can rewarding good behavior backfire?
Opinion: It can, if the parent is not consistent or in control. If you allow the child to negotiate with you, situation will be in the child control.
Can punishment backfire?
– What the parent may see as punishment may actually be seen as reward by the child (in terms of the child getting attention)
Do different approaches work on different kids?
Opinion: Yes. Punishment is based on fear of a negative consequence. Some children don’t have that fear, and punishment won’t work with them. For this child, you have to use mostly rewards as incentives.
What works best for rewards and punishment?
Opinion: Start with material or activity rewards to motivate the child toward good behavior. Once they change their behavior, add social rewards (like praise). Eventually, the material and social rewards can be phased out. Intrinsic rewards will take over.
Summary – Punishment or reward are most effective when you know what’s most important to your child. If they love to talk on the phone, taking that away is effective punishment. If extra time outside is important to them, then that’s a good reward. Punishment has to hurt (not physically) to be effective. For rewards, think about the end results.
There is no one way to raise your kid. It takes a combination of rewarding good behavior in order to have it repeated and swift, appropriate punishment when faced with bad behavior. All of it is based on clearly communicating in advance what you expect and what the consequences are going to be.