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Marriage – an unedited version

 

“What is an actual definition of a wedding?”

 

“How can one manage to live with a single person for the rest of his/her life?”

 

“Which one is better Love marriage or Arrange marriage?”

 

Oh my God!! I was totally perplexed with so many questions and so many different versions of answers when I was asked about the willingness for marriage. We, the 21st-century people are quite different from our previous generations as we need a systematic cognition for every action we do especially when it comes to marriage.

In our country, marriage is just not another term rather a pious ritual which we have been following for centuries. Even then, when we question its concept we don’t get a satisfactory answer. But then if the idea of marriage was so mundane, how come so many people around me were so happily involved with each other?

I consider our peer group lucky enough as we are not hooked to follow other’s decision blindly, so I started questioning people around. I remember when I first asked my grandparents about their first meet. I was very astonished to know they had just a glimpse of each other before they said yes and I was awestruck, thinking how really these people could say yes for such a lifelong engagement. We would laugh at the idea but no one can deny the fact that they are ideal for each other.

And then with a lot of research ;). I found out that the conception of marriage has changed over the generations. Considering our generation fortunate enough, I was able to digest the idea of marriage. But again got stuck in another dilemma, is love marriage better or arrange?

Fantasy love

Being a girl, we have a fantasy to fall in love with a prince who would bend on knees to propose and take away on the white horse to live happily ever after. But then to fulfill this fantasy, do we really need to fall in love first?”

 

I asked my mother,  My mother’s answer was very delightful, she said: “I love your dad, not because he proposed or took me on a white horse but because I know he is and will be there for me whenever I need him”.

We millennials complicate things and then complicate our lives. What defines love is care, trust, tenderness, attachment. So, how does it really matter to have arranged or love marriage, we just need to make sure that we put enough effort into our marriage to be successful.

I personally feel, until and unless we experience marriage, we should not judge it. I recently got married and it’s been 6 months now and we are pretty happy. Although there is occasional bickering, they always end with more love and understanding for each other. Mine is arranged marriage and hence we still are trying to figure out each other. Even then we have learned to read each other’s faces, likings, hobbies.

For instance, I used to sleep while watching documentaries but now I can tolerate it and similarly my husband used to sleep while watching movies but now he has managed to be awake until the interval. I think this is how you learn to adjust and love each other and make marriage prosperous.

Success in marriage or rather successful marriage – how most of us say – is a lifelong incremental process to understand each other and conform to each other’s ideas/expectations of significant other. To me, other than basic moral values and personal taste, there is no particular resume/Marriage Vitae (similar to Curriculum vitae) for husband or wife.

Still trying to figure out marriage definition …but whatever it is, I can bet you it is one of the most amazing experience I am having till date…….!!!!!!!!!!!

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